LOPSIDED JUSTICE

Some years ago people used to affix Shriimatyá instead of Shriimatii or Devyá instead of Devii, to the name of a widow.

Not only was this usage defective from the grammatical viewpoint, it did not add to the dignity of women. What crime have widows done that they should be forbidden to [[use]] Shriimatii or Devii⁽¹⁾ with their names? Grammatically, Shriimatyá means “by shriimatii”, Devyá means “by devii”. The titles Shriimatii and Devii can be attached to the names of all women irrespective of whether they are married, unmarried or widows. There is no social restriction nor any grammatical opposition. The word kumárii, which is sometimes used to denote an unmarried girl, in imitation of the English word “Miss”, is not an old convention. This was first introduced in Bengal during the days of the Brahmo Samaj movement.⁽²⁾

In olden times, Duhitá was attached to the maiden names of unmarried Kayastha girls and Jáyá was added to the surnames of married women. Suppose the name of an unmarried girl is Aniitá. Let us say that she is from the Basu family. In that case, she would write her name as “Aniitá Basu Duhitá”. Suppose she is later married into a Ghosh, Mitra or Dutta family. After her marriage, she will write her name as “Aniitá Mitra Jáyá” or “Aniitá Dutta Jáyá”. It still is not a very certain identification of a married lady because, after marriage, she may be Ghosh Jáyá in a Ghosh family, but does she not continue to be a daughter of the Basu family? It is a historical fact that once she was a child of the Basu family. Hence after marriage, also, she can say that her name is Aniitá Basu Duhitá.

In certain communities Veoyá is added to the names of widows. This is also objectionable and opposed to the dignity of women, because the word veoyá is derived from the Sanskrit vidhavá [meaning “widow”].⁽³⁾

Most important, what is the necessity of using terms that discriminate among those who are married, those who are unmarried and those who are widowed? In the case of men, there are no separate words to indicate who is married, unmarried or widowed – they are not used. So the custom of separately identifying the unmarried women, married women and widows is an undesirable system created by a male-dominated society. It is a bit ironic that in cases where women are compelled to add Dásii [“servant”, “slave”] to their names, widows are compelled to use Dásyá. It causes laughter mixed with pain.⁽⁴⁾

Footnotes

(1) Shriimatii is somewhat similar to “Mrs.” in English, and is prefixed to a woman’s name; Devii (“goddess”) is added to the end of a name. –Trans.

(2) A nineteenth century progressive Hindu movement in Bengal. –Trans.

(3) Linguistic information omitted here. –Trans.

(4) [[To imply that some women do not even deserve to use dásii (already a derogatory suffix in most contexts) is so excessive that it actually provokes laughter – mixed with pain.]] –Trans.