EE7.5 - Building a Healthy Society

Building a Healthy Society – Excerpt H

Published in:
The Awakening of Women [a compilation]

Notes:

from Caryácarya Part 1

1. In the case of arranged marriages, the guardians should not consider the caste or nationality in arranging the marriage, but they must consider the family and the merits and demerits of the bride and bridegroom. The guardians, before fixing the marriage shall seek the opinions of the prospective bride and the bridegroom and proceed accordingly. The guardians should not allow matrimony between persons connected with each other either on the paternal or the maternal side for three generations, ascending or descending.

2. In the case of arranged marriages the guardians should finally meet and ascertain the consent of the bride and bridegroom, and bless them, at least a day before the marriage is solemnized.

3. If the boy and the girl settle their marriage themselves, it is proper for the guardians to give their consent. In case the guardians feel that the consequences of such a marriage may be harmful, they may ask the boy and the girl to reconsider their decision. Even then, if they do not change their opinion, the guardians will give their consent but they will be in no way responsible for such a marriage.

4. Every person should marry if there is not sufficient reason against marriage. A decision for marriage should be taken with full consideration of one’s physical, mental, and financial conditions and environmental circumstances. No one should exert pressure in the matter of marriage. Marriage is not a hindrance to dharma sádhaná; marriage is a dharmic ceremony.

5. Male members of the Marga can marry females outside the Marga, but it will be better to marry a female member of the Marga to a male member of the Marga, as far as possible. If a suitable match is available outside the Marga, the marriage may be solemnized, but efforts should be made to initiate him into the Marga without delay.⁽¹⁾

7. A widow or a woman forsaken by her husband can remarry. A man marrying such a woman will be given a special status in the society. He will have to shoulder the responsibility of bringing up the children of her previous husband.

8. If a woman forsaken by the society desires to lead an honourable life, proper opportunities should be afforded to her. If anyone marries such a woman in the manner prescribed by the Marga, the marriage should be properly respected.

9. Men can prove their manliness by marrying shelterless women. Do not allow at all a woman to lead a shameful life.

10. It is proper not to marry again when one’s wife is alive. But sometimes, due to social or family necessity, more than one marriage can be accepted due. If there is a need of more than one marriage, the clear permission of the wife has to be obtained in the presence of five responsible persons (one of whom should, preferably, be an ácárya/á⁽²⁾). The second marriage will not be permissible without the permission of the wife. These five persons will specifically ascertain the veracity of the statement of the petitioner.

(Social necessity: If at any time the women far outnumber the men, more than one marriage for men will have to be accepted to safeguard social purity. Family necessity: If the wife is a chronic patient and therefore unable to work, or is sterile and there is no hope of her becoming healthy and conceiving a child, the man may marry a second time to maintain the lineage and/or to obtain help in the performance of domestic work.)

11. In Ananda Marga no one will be looked down upon as an illegitimate child. In such circumstances, the parents of the child will be compelled to marry in the prescribed manner, and, if need be, the man will have to agree to more than one marriage. In order to save the prestige of the illegitimate child, permission of the earlier wife before the marriage will not be necessary.

12. The oaths in the Ananda Marga marriage system are such that the question of divorce does not arise; but in very extraordinary circumstances, on charges of characterlessness, irresponsibility, or cruelty, divorce may be accepted. The complainant (man or woman) will appeal to five important responsible persons of the Marga (an ácárya/á preferably being one of them). On being satisfied regarding the validity of the complaint, will allow the complainant six months time for reconsideration. If the petition is still not withdrawn and the reasons for the complaint remain unaltered, divorce will be accepted. In this connection, the procedure for the division of the properties shall be formulated according to the demands of the time.

1. Sons and daughters shall inherit in equal shares the movable and/or immovable properties of their parents. The daughter shall enjoy the immovable property during her lifetime, but shall not have the right to transfer it to others. The property shall revert to her father’s family after her death.

2. The widow shall inherit the entire property of her husband, and the property of her father-in-law and mother-in-law in equal share with her brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law. She shall not have the right to transfer the immovable properties inherited from her husband or parents-in-law. In case she remarries or dies, that immovable property shall devolve to her sons and daughters and in their absence, the descendants of her husband’s brothers. In the absence of her husband’s brothers or their descendants, the widow shall have every right to utilize that property – including the right of transfer – in any way she likes. In case she remarries, she will forfeit the right to that property. In this case, the property will revert to the nearest relation of her father-in-law.

3. In case a widow remarries and keeps the minor children by her previous husband with her, she can look after the paternal properties of those children as their de facto guardian, but in no case shall her new husband (or the children by her new husband) have any claim to that property. If the children by her previous husband desire to remain in their father’s family, the nearest relation of their father shall be entrusted with the charge of looking after the property.

4. The movable and/or immovable properties acquired by a woman herself shall be shared equally by all her sons and daughters (regardless of who their father is). Presents, ornaments, or other materials received during her marriage, or anything movable or immovable offered to her as gifts shall be considered as her self-acquired property.

5. The woman who has divorced her husband shall have no right to his property. The financial burden for the bringing up of the children of that woman rests with their father (and those children are also the inheritors of their paternal property). However she can keep the children by her former husband with her as long as she pleases. At that time also, her divorced husband shall have the financial responsibility to maintain those children. In case a woman remarries and wants to keep the children by her previous husband with her, whether she can do so depends on whether or not the previous husband gives permission. In the event that the previous husband agrees to her being the custodian of his children after her remarriage, he will not be financially liable for the maintenance of the children.

6. The property of one family usually shall not pass to the family of the married daughter except by will or by gift. But if the daughter has no brother or his descendants, she shall have the absolute right to that property including the right of transfer. After her demise, her sons and daughters will inherit the self-acquired property of their mother.

7. The property of an unmarried person or childless couple shall pass on to their nearest relation(s).

8. If necessary, you will amend the system of inheritance according to the demands of the age.

Men and women are human beings having equal dignity. As the physical strength of the woman is less than that of the man, the latter should always endeavour to save the prestige of women. As the mother of man, the woman can claim this right. Special attention should be paid to the comforts of women in festivals, spiritual conferences or other occasions.

When necessary, men and women can mix together, sit next to one another and participate in meetings and conferences, but they should not engage in gossip as its results are not beneficial. It should be remembered that a woman’s friend is a woman and a man’s is a man. The more the distant the relationship between men and women, the greater should be the courtesy maintained in mutual conversation and behaviour between them.

It is most proper to address women not related to one’s family as “mother”. But where such an address is sounds unpleasant to the ears, one should use words like “sister”, “daughter” and the like. Unrelated men and women should not touch each other, except during illness or in special circumstances (during salutation, administering medical care, etc.)

Except for professional actors and actresses, men and women should not jointly participate in theatrical performances. Although in special circumstances, this rule may be relaxed for faultless characters with the permission of a purodhá.⁽³⁾

An ácárya/á and a purodhá cannot actively participate in any acting; but individually, they can cultivate the fine arts. An ácárya/á can even act in special cases or in special dramas with the permission of a purodhá.

You should wear dress according to your own preference and convenience. It is proper to always wear clean clothes so that others do not unnecessarily form a poor impression about you.

While going out of their house, women should wear simple and decent clothes and cover their bodies properly. Dress norms for women may be slightly relaxed during festivals, or when they are accompanied by male guardians, or when good security arrangements have been made. The same norms apply to the wearing of ornaments also.

Where appropriate, women should take the responsibility of weaving, sewing, cattle-rearing and light agricultural work. Generally it is desirable for women to earn an honest livelihood remaining at home. If it is not possible to maintain the family in this way, women may find employment in more physically strenuous work like government service, business, etc. outside the home. No one should be conservative or superstitious in this regard.

There are no restrictions for widows regarding food, ornaments, clothes and attending auspicious ceremonies. No rigorous rules or regulations concerning fasting should be imposed on them because of their widowhood. However, if a widow voluntarily follows dietary restrictions to enhance her spiritual practices, that is a different matter.

(1) For the reason that, in many countries in the world, it is more difficult for a woman to maintain her spriritual practices in a non-supportive enviroment. –Trans.

(2) Male (ácárya) or female (ácáryá) spiritual teachers of Ananda Marga. –Trans.

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